So many women in midlife are struggling with the idea that they are the only ones struggling. This isn’t true. In fact, many of us from the Gen X generation are struggling with the very same dissatisfactions…women, men, and non-binary alike. We are struggling with a bad bill of goods that we were sold growing up (incidentally as one of the most unparented generations of all time…”latch key” kids as we were).
We were told that we could “do anything”. We were schooled on how the injustices of sexism were torn down in the 60s and 70s by Women’s Liberation Movement. We were given the premise of “color blindness” as an anti-racism principle and educated on the idea that the freedom fighters of the Civil Rights movement had eradicated racism. The idea was that government policies set by Title IX and the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission had saved us from our parents’ injustices and the world was now our oyster.
Unfortunately, the way things turned out we are now feeling oppressed by the EXPECTATION that we should have been able to do everything, when it was supposed to be an OPPORTUNITY to do anything we wanted without the same constraints of generations before us. As we have helicopter parented the generations behind us, in our Millennial and Gen Z generations, we have done a better job of being more realistic in our expectations and sheltered these later generations from the unreasonable expectation that “you can do anything you want” means “you should be able do everything you want.” Yet, we are still holding ourselves accountable and feeling shame when we are unable to meet these unrealistic goals that should never been served to us this way.
Dr. Natalie breaks down in today’s video, one of the ways this mythology persists for us. Take a listen to her explanation here and stay tuned for her tip on how to dismantle this myth in our own lives.
My example here is how to do this in parenting, but these questions can work in any area of your life. Try them…and tell me about it by replying below in the comments. I’d love to hear your thoughts on how these work for you.
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