The wound is the place where the light enters you.
Rumi
There is a tradition in Japanese culture, whereby broken pottery is reassembled using gold as the adherent in the cracks between broken pieces. The flaw thereby becomes a part of the beauty of the object as it ages. Its a part of the pottery’s history and by being treated with gold, shows that this part of the history has a high value.
It’s an interesting concept to think of our hardships and brokenness as the most valuable parts of us. So true though. What I really like about this Japanese tradition is that gold is used in the repairing. So, the beauty only “shines” when the repairs are done. I have been a psychologist over the course of two decades and I have helped others and watched as they have healed. The beauty that emerges is inspiring to me. And I mean inspiring.
I too have had my share of difficult times and one of the unique aspects of being with others during their healing journeys is that I am privy to the knowledge that this too shall pass and I could be all the better for that. I just have to let the pieces fall and then pick them up and mend them with the gold of self-compassion. This work can be tedious and many times pain staking. It’s still so worth the effort.
What is self-compassion you may ask? Well compassion’s literal translation is to “suffer with”. In action, compassion usually is a conscious awareness of another’s suffering, paired with a desire to try to share the pain with this individual in an effort to alleviate it. To have this same empathic quality towards oneself, is to see yourself through the lens of loving kindness with the knowledge that the human condition is flawed and your mistakes are an aspect of that humanity. To love yourself despite your faults. To see with this lens does not negate that negative things have occurred, the wounds have left scars, or that healing has come at a cost. Instead it allows us to see the beauty in these scars. The mending of the old wounds has left us with a different kind of beauty. The process of self-compassion and compassion towards others lets us see the beauty in our own collective human condition, flaws and all.
Investing in ourselves is the most important work we will ever do, because without that investment there isn’t much in us to be shared with the world, no matter how much we want to. My challenge to you is to notice where your broken pieces are and take time to carefully pick them up so that you too can start your repair work. Take this loving approach of seeing the beauty in the places where you feel broken and adding the gold of self-compassion to adhere these broken pieces into the whole of you. Let the flaws of your life shine through and tell us of your real beauty.