We tend to be so difficult on ourselves. Like I talked about last week, we are always looking to use our whips on ourselves as a means to correct our behaviors, as if this actually works as our best tool. Let me break some news to you…punishing ourselves IS NOT our best tool for changing behavior. In many ways, it is the least helpful. What happens when we are punished (even by ourselves) is we learn to avoid the punishment…not how to do the thing better that we messed up that resulted in our punishing ourselves.
I try to help break down in this video a skill I have used for years, based in Person Centered Theory. Its a basic set of questions that help you look at what you and/or others are doing, through a much different lens. Instead of whipping yourself for what you are doing wrong, it is looking at what you are doing more holistically. Getting ideas for what is going well, as much as what is not. Take a look.
Here are those basic questions again:
My example here is how to do this in parenting, but these questions can work in any area of your life. Try them…and tell me about it by replying below in the comments. I’d love to hear your thoughts on how these work for you.
And know, I have a monthly Master Class for FREE, in an intimate coffee and conversation setting. This is a great place to get some FREE Group Coaching from me, helping you be the best version of yourself all the time. Please be sure to sign up. Even if you can’t join every month, you will be part of the mailing list to hear about the topics and get the video highlights I send out afterwards, so it is well worth it.
Or, if you are looking for something a little more in depth, take a look at the Online Courses that I offer to help people with their personal growth and development.