Do you have that feature set on your phone where it prompts you every week to see what pictures you were taking this time last year? And then if you want you can go back as far as you have pictures to check out this week 2 years ago, 3 years ago, 4 years ago, 5 years ago, etc? I have that feature turned on and it is honestly the most keen window into my transition over the last several years. I can’t believe sometimes where I was even a year ago, but when I look back more than 5 years ago it is a whole other ball game. You see, my second marriage hit its lowest points at that time, so it can be an interesting lens into my past to scroll through those pictures.
I was clearly at my worst. I could not believe I had failed at marriage twice, that I was facing financial collapse, and becoming a single mom yet again in my life. Yet, at the same time I was swimming along well in my work at a group practice without skipping a beat. That’s me, though. Work is a refuge away from the chaos the rest of my life has been. I learned that from my father. It has its advantages, but it also has its drawbacks, let me tell you. I can overwork to the point of blocking out everything in my life and that is not a good thing.
So it is strange as I embark on this new journey with Learn to Love Your Story I am pulling back from work. Guess what? This old dog can learn some new tricks. And this one has been a LONG time coming. Its only been recently when I finally figured out that if I want a different outcome FROM my work life, I will need to be different IN my work life. You see, up until this point I figured I could always add work. Right?!? I have energy for that. I have learned to straddle 3 or more jobs at once and be a decent single parent, so why can’t I add a side hustle too. And I did. If you look at my photos this time last year or the year before, there are dozens of thumbnails I made to post to the Learn To Love Your Story You Tube channel, as I was churning out video after video. Not as many inspirational quote screen shots as there were 4 or 5 years ago, when I was still climbing out of despair, or pictures of my kids as there were a few years ago when we were making the most of being outside that summer post COVID social distancing for the first few months.
So why in the world do I have to back down from my work to jump into my new endeavor? Because it needs my attention and not my work ethic. It needs me to live in the experience, not just get through it. A few years ago, I thought I was starting this off right and took an 8 month course to teach me how to best launch the program I was creating. And I was hustling that. I was posting videos, providing free classes, being present on social media, and starting email funnels. What I wasn’t doing was enjoying myself. I was pounding out the work, which has always been a way to drown out the noise of everything else in my life. And even though it was not my intention to use the work to escape my life, because this has been such a well trodden path in my past there was no other destination that road was going to take me to.
I started noticing that I was overworking and still was feeling pretty stuck in it all. I finally started to put the pieces together on what to do next. I needed to design a life I wanted to be living IN. Not hustle for my worth by overworking to sustain a life I could barely enjoy. While this is a familiar pattern, it was not serving me any longer. And that is now my chief concern in life. I practice what I preach. I am on a daily mission to put myself first, because I know that means all the things I put myself into get the best version of me. My kids. My family. My friends. My clients. My peers. And more importantly this beautiful new endeavor of LearnToLoveYourStory.com, which is the most aligned my work and purpose in life have ever been.
So what’s next? And what does that mean for you? It means that this is my priority and I will put my heart and soul into it, instead of just my time and intellect. I think the combination will flower into something really special. And, I know the net result will make the world a better place from my little corner of the universe.
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