I know it seems impossible that you could get a gold star without trying to be perfect, yet the true paradox is that you can only achieve excellence when you avoid being a perfectionist. I know right?!? It just doesn’t seem like this works that way. Take a listen to Dr. Natalie as she explains why it is that those of us who like gold stars and have since we were children, struggle as much as we do with perfectionism. She also offers us a tip for continuing to get our gold stars without the corset of trying to be a perfectionist.
Tag Archives: Midlife Women
A Remedy to Overwhelm – Connection
So many of us struggled during COVID feeling isolated from one another and unable to reach out to our usual tribe. We know that this resulted in even higher rates of overwhelm than usual. Especially for those of us that are the caregivers, who were taking on even more than usual during this time. Listen to Dr. Natalie’s thoughts on how connection with others can be a remedy to this added overwhelm that we have suffered during COVID.
Why Does Story Matter?
Dr. Natalie breaks down in today’s blog why story is such a powerful healing tool. Did you know that story telling was likely the first form of therapy? Really! We sat around a fire and talked to one another, sharing our wisdom, pain, goals, regrets, etc. and felt healed by the experience. We wrote on cave walls to help others see what we had learned illustrated for them. And think about how we teach our kids…story! Take a look at the Vlog to learn more.
Making Peace With Our Mistakes
Do you ever find yourself making the same mistake over and over? It can feel maddening. You know that you are doing it, yet you can’t seem to stop yourself. Do you know why you repeat the same mistakes over and over? Did you know this is a normal part of being human? You aren’t crazy…you are changing. And repeating something over and over usually means there is an underlying story we have been telling ourselves about our lives that no longer serves us, so we need to uncover and change it.
Take a look at Dr. Natalie’s Vlog describing why this happens and how we can make peace with this and work towards changing it.
Self-Care Can Be as Easy as Setting Limits!
Did you know that how you preserve your time and energy is as important to your self care regimen as the kinds of things you do to restore and replenish yourself? Well it is! And you should be just as focused on how your self care routine has time for rest and preservation as it does for restoration and replenishment.
Dr. Natalie walks us through why these limits are important in her latest Vlog for the Learn to Love Your Story series.
And in case you are looking for some help in practicing these self-care tips, download the complimentary self-care workbook that Dr. Natalie has prepared for you.
Do any of these sound like you?
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- Feel a sense of lack, despite success in life or having done everything “right”
- Struggle to articulate how you feel to others
- Experience guilt about how you’re feeling
- Have lost your way
- Are struggling to overcome turmoil in your life
- Have become resigned to accepting a life you don’t love
Many of us are suffering like this — daily life has become an ordeal, and we don’t know where or how to find help.
Dr. Natalie’s Online Courses and Coaching CAN HELP. Click below and get started.
You don’t want to miss a thing we are doing here at LearnToLoveYourStory.com. From our weekly podcasts to our library of blogs and videos that can help you step into a more centered life. Allow Dr. Natalie to guide you on this empowering adventure to break free, rediscover your passion, and create the life you’ve always envisioned for yourself. Your journey to empowerment starts here. Join our Mailing List today!
Need more clarity on your midlife journey? Sign up for a complimentary call with Dr. Natalie to explore if her transformative coaching program aligns with your aspirations. Get personalized answers to your questions and discover if Dr. Natalie can help you untangle where you life is now and design the life you want to be living. Don’t miss the opportunity to embark on a life-changing experience – schedule your complimentary call today and take the first step toward designing the life you deserve! Please press the “START” button below to answer a few questions and schedule your consultation:
Disclaimer
The content in this blog and video is not a replacement for therapy and is not clinical, medical, or mental health treatment. Dr. Natalie Marr is a Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. Her work with LearnToLoveYourStory.com and all affiliate social media entities is educational and coaching based ONLY. She IS NOT offering therapeutic services of any kind on these mediums.
If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please use the following crisis resources (this is not an exhaustive list of available resources):
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
CALL 988
Crisis Text Line: https://www.crisistextline.org/
Text HOME to 741741
How to Get Unstuck
Ever feel like you’re stuck? Life is going well looking from the outside in, yet you feel like there is something that is missing. Something more that you want and just can’t put your finger on. Well, Dr. Marr breaks down in this video how being stuck in this manner can occur and what you can do to find out what is causing the feeling.
Dr. Natalie has a monthly Master Class for FREE, in an intimate coffee and conversation setting. This is a great place to get some FREE Group Coaching from me, helping you be the best version of yourself all the time. Please be sure to sign up. Even if you can’t join every month, you will be part of the mailing list to hear about the topics and get the video highlights I send out afterwards, so it is well worth it.
Or, if you are looking for something a little more in depth, take a look at the online courses that I offer to help people with their personal growth and development.
How to Be Your Own Hero/ine
Ever feel like you have no power to change what’s happening in your life? It doesn’t feel great does it? Dr. Natalie shares a tip with us here about how to shift the narrative by becoming our own hero/ine in the story, even when we can’t change what the storyline is. This is a great way to take back the power in our own lives when we aren’t able to change anything about what is happening around us. Take a look.
If You Find Yourself Struggling…Ask Yourself This
Many times when we find ourselves in a struggle, we are fighting not only the issue at hand, but the programming and conditioning underneath this that tells us there is a “right” and “wrong” way that we somehow seem to be on the “wrong” side of. Dr. Natalie helps walk us through a way to figure out what the underlying programming and conditioning is, by asking ourselves “What rule tells me I need to be struggling here?”, and then deciding if that rule really serves us or not. Take a look.
It’s Good to Remember We Are Only Human
We tend to be so difficult on ourselves. Like I talked about last week, we are always looking to use our whips on ourselves as a means to correct our behaviors, as if this actually works as our best tool. Let me break some news to you…punishing ourselves IS NOT our best tool for changing behavior. In many ways, it is the least helpful. What happens when we are punished (even by ourselves) is we learn to avoid the punishment…not how to do the thing better that we messed up that resulted in our punishing ourselves.
I try to help break down in this video a skill I have used for years, based in Person Centered Theory. Its a basic set of questions that help you look at what you and/or others are doing, through a much different lens. Instead of whipping yourself for what you are doing wrong, it is looking at what you are doing more holistically. Getting ideas for what is going well, as much as what is not. Take a look.
Here are those basic questions again:
- What is working?
- What isn’t working?
- What to keep the same?
- What to do differently?
My example here is how to do this in parenting, but these questions can work in any area of your life. Try them…and tell me about it by replying below in the comments. I’d love to hear your thoughts on how these work for you.
And know, I have a monthly Master Class for FREE, in an intimate coffee and conversation setting. This is a great place to get some FREE Group Coaching from me, helping you be the best version of yourself all the time. Please be sure to sign up. Even if you can’t join every month, you will be part of the mailing list to hear about the topics and get the video highlights I send out afterwards, so it is well worth it.
Or, if you are looking for something a little more in depth, take a look at the Online Courses that I offer to help people with their personal growth and development.
How to Be Kind to Yourself
It seems like such an intuitive thing to do, yet we are very challenged in our ability to stay kind towards ourselves. This form of self compassion seems to fly in the face of the internal mantras we have of judgmental self-evaluation, as a means to keep ourselves “on course“. Basically, we like our whips. We like to use self-critical evaluation as a way to stay on track.
This does not always serve us, however. Being kind to ourself is a form of self compassion that uses our first language, behavior. You know…how babies talk…by crying in order to get the adults in their life to meet their needs. This language of behavior is still our first language as adults. If we do kind things for ourselves the message we send to us is that we are worthy. We are worthy of investing our time in. We are worthy of investing our energy in. We are worthy of investing our love in.
Take a look at Dr. Natalie‘s video message this week on how you can be kind to yourself.
A Case of the Mondays…
Have you ever had one of those Mondays…or just one of those days in general, when you feel like the universe is imploding on you? Like dominoes, one bad thing happening after another. This is not an accident. And not for the reason you think.
Confirmation bias is how our brain tries its best to make things easier on us, by limiting what it is paying attention to. I mean really…if you were paying attention to all of what you are perceiving at any given moment, you wouldn’t get out the door. All the smells, sounds, and sights in just the space your in right now are enough to keep you occupied for a few minutes…right.
So the brain uses this confirmation bias thing to help you only pay attention to the things that it thinks will benefit you the most at any given time. Now, if you are in a bad mood, guess what those things are? You guessed it…its only looking for the next bad thing to happen and what it expects to see it will start to find my friends. You will always find things to be upset with if that is what you are looking for.
Here is a tip on how to deal with a case of the Mondays…Dr. Natalie breaks down in this vlog a strategy for managing through this.
Why Practicing Self Compassion is Gold
Many of us aren’t even aware of what self compassion is. But we can guess it’s some of that hippie dippy mushy stuff that therapists talk about. Not so much. This strategy is much more strength based than you think and is as precious as Gold. Take a look at Dr. Natalie’s Vlog this week to learn more.
You may want to head over to her blog this week as well, to learn even more on the skill of self-compassion.
