Tag Archives: starting over in midlife

Bucking the System, Dr. Natalie Podcast, Midlife Women, Selfish is the New Selfless

The Exhausting Lie that Perfectionism Sold You

Summary:

This episode explores the impact of perfectionism, societal conditioning, and hormonal changes during midlife on women’s mental health. Dr. Natalie shares data, personal insights, and practical advice to help women love themselves and navigate this transformative phase with resilience.

Keywords:

midlife, women, perfectionism, mental health, hormonal changes, self-love, resilience, menopause, societal conditioning

Key topics:

  • Perfectionism and its impact on mental health
  • The connection between hormonal changes and emotional well-being
  • Societal conditioning and self-betrayal in women
  • Practical steps to cultivate self-love and resilience

Sound bites:

  • “Relearn who you are and what you want.”
  • “Deserving love even when you screw up.”
  • “You do not have to be good.”

Chapters:

  • 00:00 The Burden of Perfectionism in Midlife
  • 03:24 Understanding the Mental Health Crisis for Women
  • 11:29 The Impact of Hormonal Changes and Medical Misunderstandings
  • 28:13 Reclaiming Self-Worth and Breaking Free from Perfectionism
  • 36:18 Introduction and Disclaimer
  • 37:55 Crisis Resources and Support

Resources & Links to Connect with Dr. Natalie:

Resources:

DISCLAIMER:

The content in this podcast and video is not a replacement for therapy and is not clinical, medical, or mental health treatment. Dr. Natalie Marr is a Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. Her work with Learn To Love Your Story coaching ⁠⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠)⁠ and her private practice ⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://NatalieMarrCounseling.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠),⁠ and all affiliate social media entities are educational ONLY. She IS NOT offering therapeutic or coaching services of any kind on these mediums.

If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please use the following crisis resources (this is not an exhaustive list of available resources):

Dr. Natalie Podcast, Midlife Women, Self-Awareness, Self-Compassion

What to Let Go of in Midlife

In this heartfelt episode, Dr. Natalie addresses midlife women feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to fix and manage everything alone. She offers insight into how hyper-independence and the fear of abandonment can contribute to burnout and midlife struggles—and most importantly, how self-love can help rewrite these patterns.


Key Topics:

  • The emotional toll of hyper-independence in midlife women
  • The neurochemistry of pursuit and addiction to dopamine hits
  • Childhood experiences shaping adult patterns of fixing and pleasing
  • Recognizing and interrupting the spiral of justification and validation
  • The importance of self-love as an antidote to burnout and scarcity mindset
  • How fear of abandonment fuels hyper-independence
  • Practical steps to love yourself through mistakes and vulnerabilities
  • Moving away from rescuing everyone and focusing on personal peace

Time Stamps

00:00 – Addressing hyper-independent women in midlife

02:09 – The neurochemical roots of pursuit and addiction to dopamine

03:34 – How the chase reinforces the cycle of burnout

04:33 – Personal stories of controlling or fixing others

05:58 – Childhood patterns influencing adult need for approval

06:53 – Recognizing the spiral of justifying and validating

08:22 – The pain of not being liked or validated

09:04 – The risks of over-investment in work and relationships

10:30 – How derailments in pursuit reveal deeper patterns

11:56 – The spiral of self-justification in times of stress

13:20 – The link between childhood chaos and adult control issues

14:19 – Self-love as the key to breaking free from cycles

16:41 – The importance of loving yourself despite mistakes

19:34 – Understanding the fear of rejection and scarcity mindset

20:03 – Letting go of blame and the need for approval

21:01 – Managing relationships without spiraling into chaos

22:24 – Embracing age and experience for self-compassion

23:21 – The power of loving your story, including dysfunction

24:19 – Sharing this message with other midlife women

25:17 – Letting go of the cycle of justification and abandonment fears

26:15 – Finding peace and building inner self-worth

Resources and Links

Connect with Dr. Natalie:

Website https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠
Facebook facebook.com/learntoloveyourstory
Instagram instagram.com/dr.nataliemarr
Linked In linkedin.com/in/natalie-m-marr-psy-d-lp-6a9298147
Tik Tok tiktok.com/@doc.natalie

DISCLAIMER:

The content in this podcast and video is not a replacement for therapy and is not clinical, medical, or mental health treatment. Dr. Natalie Marr is a Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. Her work with ⁠⁠(⁠LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠⁠⁠)⁠, ⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠NatalieMarrCounseling.com⁠⁠⁠),⁠ and all affiliate social media entities is educational and coaching based ONLY. She IS NOT offering therapeutic services of any kind on these mediums.

If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please use the following crisis resources (this is not an exhaustive list of available resources):

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org⁠/⁠⁠⁠⁠ or CALL 988

Crisis Text Line: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.crisistextline.org/ or⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Text HOME to 741741

Dr. Natalie Podcast, Midlife Women

The Great Unlearning: Reclaiming Self-Worth in Midlife

Summary
In this episode, Dr. Natalie explores the concept of ‘The Great Unlearning,’ a transformative journey that challenges the societal belief that doing everything right leads to a fulfilling life. She reflects on her personal experiences, particularly during midlife, where she realized that striving for perfection and external validation often leads to burnout and disillusionment. Dr. Natalie emphasizes the importance of self-worth and the need to reclaim it from within, rather than through external achievements or approval. Through poignant anecdotes, she illustrates how the pressure to conform to societal expectations can lead to a double life and emotional turmoil, ultimately advocating for a shift towards self-love and acceptance.

Dr. Natalie introduces the metaphor of the tugboat versus the lighthouse to illustrate the difference between exhausting oneself in the pursuit of perfection and standing firm in one’s self-worth. She encourages listeners to reflect on their own lives, identifying where they may be sacrificing their well-being in the name of doing everything right. The episode serves as a powerful reminder that true fulfillment comes from within, and that midlife can be an opportunity for profound personal growth and self-discovery.

Keywords:
midlife, self-worth, personal growth, self-love, great unlearning, emotional well-being, tugboat lighthouse metaphor, reclaiming self-worth, Dr. Natalie

Takeaways:
​The version of you that you’re most proud of may be blocking your actual life.
​Midlife can be an invitation to examine the mess of our lives and love it as it is.
​Reclaiming self-worth from the inside out is essential for true fulfillment.

Sound bites:
“What if I told you that the version of you that you’re most proud of… is in the way of your actual life?”
“Today we’re gonna talk about the great unlearning.”
“You do not need to fix yourself. You just need to find yourself.”

Chapters:
00:00 Introduction to The Great Unlearning
03:49 A Holiday Dinner Reflection
10:20 The Tugboat vs. The Lighthouse
18:10 The Power of Self-Love
23:39 Reflecting on Your Journey
JOIN the https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠ Mailing List! Join my newsletter and receive my FREE video and workbook, “Freeing Yourself: A Guide for Letting Go of Other People’s Opinions”

SIGN UP on the website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/762561/109840834025752017/share⁠⁠⁠⁠ DISCLAIMER: The content in this podcast and video is not a replacement for therapy and is not clinical, medical, or mental health treatment. Dr. Natalie Marr is a Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. Her work with ⁠⁠(⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠⁠⁠)⁠, ⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠https://NatalieMarrCounseling.com⁠⁠⁠),⁠ and all affiliate social media entities is educational and coaching based ONLY. She IS NOT offering therapeutic services of any kind on these mediums. If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please use the following crisis resources (this is not an exhaustive list of available resources): National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org⁠/⁠⁠⁠⁠
CALL 988Crisis Text Line: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.crisistextline.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠
⁠⁠⁠Text HOME to 741741

Bucking the System, Dr. Natalie Podcast, Self-Awareness, Self-Compassion, Selfish is the New Selfless

Podcast 56: From Survival to Thriving

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Special Interview with Susan Gold, Author & Transformationalist

In this episode, Susan Gold shares her journey of escaping a challenging upbringing and finding her own path to personal and professional success. She recounts her experiences working with Barbara Walters and Andy Warhol. Susan discusses the importance of living from the inside out and embracing change and growth. She also shares her insights on recognizing and overcoming patterns of behavior that she thought were helping her, but in the end were hurting her.

Overall, Susan’s story is one of resilience, transformation, and finding authentic freedom. In this conversation, Susan Gold shares her personal journey of healing from a toxic family system and offers insights and advice for others going through similar experiences. The conversation covers topics such as facing fear, seeking support, the importance of therapy and social support, reciprocity in relationships, and the power of sharing experiences and providing support. The conversation also highlights the importance of choosing self-empowerment and creating a life that aligns with one’s true desires.

Takeaways:

  • Embrace change and view challenges as opportunities for growth and transformation.
  • Live from the inside out and prioritize self-care and self-love.
  • Recognize and let go of performative behaviors that no longer serve you.
  • Embrace discomfort as a sign of growth and expansion.
  • Facing the fear and surrendering to the healing process is essential for moving forward.
  • Seeking support from friends, family, and professionals is crucial during difficult times.
  • Therapy and social support networks play a significant role in the healing journey.
  • Reciprocity in relationships is important, and it’s okay to lean on others for support.
  • Sharing experiences and providing support can be transformative for both the giver and the receiver.
  • Choosing self-empowerment and creating a life that aligns with one’s true desires is essential for personal growth and fulfillment.

For more information on Susan Gold and her work, visit her website at: ⁠https://www.susangold.us/

Do any of these sound like you?

    • Feel a sense of lack, despite success in life or having done everything “right”
    • Struggle to articulate how you feel to others
    • Experience guilt about how you’re feeling
    • Have lost your way
    • Are struggling to overcome turmoil in your life
    • Have become resigned to accepting a life you don’t love

Many of us are suffering like this — daily life has become an ordeal, and we don’t know where or how to find help.

Dr. Natalie’s Online Courses and Coaching CAN HELP. Click below and get started.

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Keywords: Midlife transitions, Women in midlife, Self-discovery, Empowerment for women, Women’s empowerment, Personal growth, Relationships in midlife, Self-care for women, Authentic living, Thriving in midlife, Midlife journey, Women’s wellness, Expert insights, Redefining success, podcast for women, divorce, married to a narcissist, narcissism, gray divorce, survival mode, stress, starting over in midlife, podcast for women

Disclaimer

The content in this podcast and video is not a replacement for therapy and is not clinical, medical, or mental health treatment. Dr. Natalie Marr is a Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. Her work with LearnToLoveYourStory.com and all affiliate social media entities is educational and coaching based ONLY. She IS NOT offering therapeutic services of any kind on these mediums.

If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please use the following crisis resources (this is not an exhaustive list of available resources):

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

CALL 988

Crisis Text Line: https://www.crisistextline.org/

Text HOME to 741741