Tag Archives: podcast

Bucking the System, Dr. Natalie Podcast, Midlife Women, Selfish is the New Selfless

The Exhausting Lie that Perfectionism Sold You

Summary:

This episode explores the impact of perfectionism, societal conditioning, and hormonal changes during midlife on women’s mental health. Dr. Natalie shares data, personal insights, and practical advice to help women love themselves and navigate this transformative phase with resilience.

Keywords:

midlife, women, perfectionism, mental health, hormonal changes, self-love, resilience, menopause, societal conditioning

Key topics:

  • Perfectionism and its impact on mental health
  • The connection between hormonal changes and emotional well-being
  • Societal conditioning and self-betrayal in women
  • Practical steps to cultivate self-love and resilience

Sound bites:

  • “Relearn who you are and what you want.”
  • “Deserving love even when you screw up.”
  • “You do not have to be good.”

Chapters:

  • 00:00 The Burden of Perfectionism in Midlife
  • 03:24 Understanding the Mental Health Crisis for Women
  • 11:29 The Impact of Hormonal Changes and Medical Misunderstandings
  • 28:13 Reclaiming Self-Worth and Breaking Free from Perfectionism
  • 36:18 Introduction and Disclaimer
  • 37:55 Crisis Resources and Support

Resources & Links to Connect with Dr. Natalie:

Resources:

DISCLAIMER:

The content in this podcast and video is not a replacement for therapy and is not clinical, medical, or mental health treatment. Dr. Natalie Marr is a Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. Her work with Learn To Love Your Story coaching ⁠⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠)⁠ and her private practice ⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://NatalieMarrCounseling.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠),⁠ and all affiliate social media entities are educational ONLY. She IS NOT offering therapeutic or coaching services of any kind on these mediums.

If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please use the following crisis resources (this is not an exhaustive list of available resources):

Dr. Natalie Podcast, Emotional Wellness, Midlife Women

The Hidden Trauma of Midlife: How Childhood Shapes Your Stress Resilience

Summary

Dr. Natalie explores the intersection of midlife challenges, hormonal changes, and childhood trauma, emphasizing that women’s struggles are often systemic and not personal failures. She discusses how hormonal shifts affect stress resilience and the importance of inner work and therapy to achieve a centered midlife.

Keywords

midlife, hormonal changes, childhood trauma, stress resilience, inner child work, therapy, estrogen, progesterone, systemic issues, personal growth

Key Topics

  • Hormonal changes in midlife and their impact on stress resilience
  • The role of childhood trauma in adult midlife struggles
  • Inner child work and shadow work as tools for healing
  • Systemic societal expectations and their effects on women in midlife

Key Frameworks

  • Inner Child Work
  • Shadow Work
  • Core Belief Systems

Action Items

  • Seek therapy to unpack childhood trauma
  • Consider hormone therapy with medical guidance
  • Set boundaries to protect your mental health
  • Prioritize love and acceptance of your current life

Sound Bites

“Childhood trauma can resurface in midlife.”
“Love your life right now, all of it.”
“This was never your fault.”

Chapters

00:00 The Burden of Expectations on Women
13:18 Childhood Trauma and Its Resurgence in Midlife
19:07 Introduction and Disclaimer
20:43 Crisis Resources and Support

Midlife/Trauma Resources

  • Therapy for Trauma and Inner Child Work – https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
  • Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) – https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/hormone-replacement-therapy
  • Understanding Perimenopause and Menopause – https://www.womenshealth.gov/menopause

Resources & Links to Connect with Dr. Natalie

  • Website: ⁠⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠ ⁠⁠
  • Facebook: ⁠facebook.com/learntoloveyourstory⁠⁠
  • Instagram:⁠⁠ instagram.com/dr.nataliemarr⁠⁠
  • Linked In: ⁠⁠linkedin.com/in/natalie-m-marr-psy-d-lp-6a9298147⁠⁠
  • Tik Tok: ⁠⁠tiktok.com/@doc.natalie

Disclaimer

⁠⁠The content in this podcast and video is not a replacement for therapy and is not clinical, medical, or mental health treatment. Dr. Natalie Marr is a Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. Her work with ⁠⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠)⁠, ⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://NatalieMarrCounseling.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠),⁠ and all affiliate social media entities is educational and coaching based ONLY. She IS NOT offering therapeutic services of any kind on these mediums. If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please use the following crisis resources (this is not an exhaustive list of available resources):

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org⁠/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ CALL 988

Crisis Text Line: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.crisistextline.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Text HOME to 741741

Dr. Natalie Podcast

Why Burning Out at 50 is More About Brain Habits Than Age

In this conversation, Dr. Natalie reflects on her journey through midlife, particularly focusing on the challenges of perimenopause and the emotional turmoil that often accompanies it. She discusses the importance of letting go of societal expectations and the pressure to conform, emphasizing the need for self-acceptance and compassion. Dr. Natalie also explores the concept of procedural memory and how our ingrained habits can shape our perceptions and emotional responses. Ultimately, she encourages listeners to redefine their narratives and embrace a centered midlife, free from the burdens of self-judgment and societal standards.
Episode 117: Expert Advice on Addressing the #1 Symptom in Perimenopause:⁠ https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/y7WjcCkjf1b⁠ or ⁠https://youtu.be/GFTFQGbN1rg⁠
Keywords:
midlife, perimenopause, self-acceptance, emotional health, procedural memory, self-compassion, personal growth, women empowerment, mental health, life transitions

Takeaways

  • Turning 50 can be a liberating experience.
  • It’s important to decide what truly matters to us.
  • Perimenopause can bring significant emotional challenges.
  • Irritability is a common symptom of hormonal changes.95% of our thoughts and behaviors are pre-programmed.
  • We can reprogram our thoughts to be more compassionate.
  • Self-acceptance is crucial for mental well-being.
  • We often hold ourselves to unrealistic standards.
  • It’s essential to shift our narratives about ourselves.
  • You are not broken; you are a work in progress.

Sound bites

“I was waking up that way.”
“Tell yourself a new story.”
“You are not broken.”

Chapters

00:00 Embracing Midlife: A New Perspective
06:35 Reprogramming the Mind: Breaking Free from Old Habits
12:20 Redefining Self-Worth: A Journey to Centered Midlife

Resources & Links to Connect with Dr. Natalie:

Website: ⁠⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠ ⁠⁠
Facebook: ⁠facebook.com/learntoloveyourstory⁠⁠
Instagram:⁠⁠ instagram.com/dr.nataliemarr⁠⁠
Linked In: ⁠⁠linkedin.com/in/natalie-m-marr-psy-d-lp-6a9298147⁠⁠
Tik Tok: ⁠⁠tiktok.com/@doc.natalie⁠⁠

DISCLAIMER:

The content in this podcast and video is not a replacement for therapy and is not clinical, medical, or mental health treatment. Dr. Natalie Marr is a Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. Her work with ⁠⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠)⁠, ⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://NatalieMarrCounseling.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠),⁠ and all affiliate social media entities is educational and coaching based ONLY. She IS NOT offering therapeutic services of any kind on these mediums. If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please use the following crisis resources (this is not an exhaustive list of available resources):

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org⁠/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
CALL 988

Crisis Text Line:
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.crisistextline.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Text HOME to 741741

Dr. Natalie Podcast, Midlife Women, Self-Awareness, Self-Compassion

What to Let Go of in Midlife

In this heartfelt episode, Dr. Natalie addresses midlife women feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to fix and manage everything alone. She offers insight into how hyper-independence and the fear of abandonment can contribute to burnout and midlife struggles—and most importantly, how self-love can help rewrite these patterns.


Key Topics:

  • The emotional toll of hyper-independence in midlife women
  • The neurochemistry of pursuit and addiction to dopamine hits
  • Childhood experiences shaping adult patterns of fixing and pleasing
  • Recognizing and interrupting the spiral of justification and validation
  • The importance of self-love as an antidote to burnout and scarcity mindset
  • How fear of abandonment fuels hyper-independence
  • Practical steps to love yourself through mistakes and vulnerabilities
  • Moving away from rescuing everyone and focusing on personal peace

Time Stamps

00:00 – Addressing hyper-independent women in midlife

02:09 – The neurochemical roots of pursuit and addiction to dopamine

03:34 – How the chase reinforces the cycle of burnout

04:33 – Personal stories of controlling or fixing others

05:58 – Childhood patterns influencing adult need for approval

06:53 – Recognizing the spiral of justifying and validating

08:22 – The pain of not being liked or validated

09:04 – The risks of over-investment in work and relationships

10:30 – How derailments in pursuit reveal deeper patterns

11:56 – The spiral of self-justification in times of stress

13:20 – The link between childhood chaos and adult control issues

14:19 – Self-love as the key to breaking free from cycles

16:41 – The importance of loving yourself despite mistakes

19:34 – Understanding the fear of rejection and scarcity mindset

20:03 – Letting go of blame and the need for approval

21:01 – Managing relationships without spiraling into chaos

22:24 – Embracing age and experience for self-compassion

23:21 – The power of loving your story, including dysfunction

24:19 – Sharing this message with other midlife women

25:17 – Letting go of the cycle of justification and abandonment fears

26:15 – Finding peace and building inner self-worth

Resources and Links

Connect with Dr. Natalie:

Website https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠
Facebook facebook.com/learntoloveyourstory
Instagram instagram.com/dr.nataliemarr
Linked In linkedin.com/in/natalie-m-marr-psy-d-lp-6a9298147
Tik Tok tiktok.com/@doc.natalie

DISCLAIMER:

The content in this podcast and video is not a replacement for therapy and is not clinical, medical, or mental health treatment. Dr. Natalie Marr is a Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. Her work with ⁠⁠(⁠LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠⁠⁠)⁠, ⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠NatalieMarrCounseling.com⁠⁠⁠),⁠ and all affiliate social media entities is educational and coaching based ONLY. She IS NOT offering therapeutic services of any kind on these mediums.

If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please use the following crisis resources (this is not an exhaustive list of available resources):

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org⁠/⁠⁠⁠⁠ or CALL 988

Crisis Text Line: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.crisistextline.org/ or⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Text HOME to 741741

Dr. Natalie Podcast, Midlife Women

The Great Unlearning: Reclaiming Self-Worth in Midlife

Summary
In this episode, Dr. Natalie explores the concept of ‘The Great Unlearning,’ a transformative journey that challenges the societal belief that doing everything right leads to a fulfilling life. She reflects on her personal experiences, particularly during midlife, where she realized that striving for perfection and external validation often leads to burnout and disillusionment. Dr. Natalie emphasizes the importance of self-worth and the need to reclaim it from within, rather than through external achievements or approval. Through poignant anecdotes, she illustrates how the pressure to conform to societal expectations can lead to a double life and emotional turmoil, ultimately advocating for a shift towards self-love and acceptance.

Dr. Natalie introduces the metaphor of the tugboat versus the lighthouse to illustrate the difference between exhausting oneself in the pursuit of perfection and standing firm in one’s self-worth. She encourages listeners to reflect on their own lives, identifying where they may be sacrificing their well-being in the name of doing everything right. The episode serves as a powerful reminder that true fulfillment comes from within, and that midlife can be an opportunity for profound personal growth and self-discovery.

Keywords:
midlife, self-worth, personal growth, self-love, great unlearning, emotional well-being, tugboat lighthouse metaphor, reclaiming self-worth, Dr. Natalie

Takeaways:
​The version of you that you’re most proud of may be blocking your actual life.
​Midlife can be an invitation to examine the mess of our lives and love it as it is.
​Reclaiming self-worth from the inside out is essential for true fulfillment.

Sound bites:
“What if I told you that the version of you that you’re most proud of… is in the way of your actual life?”
“Today we’re gonna talk about the great unlearning.”
“You do not need to fix yourself. You just need to find yourself.”

Chapters:
00:00 Introduction to The Great Unlearning
03:49 A Holiday Dinner Reflection
10:20 The Tugboat vs. The Lighthouse
18:10 The Power of Self-Love
23:39 Reflecting on Your Journey
JOIN the https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠ Mailing List! Join my newsletter and receive my FREE video and workbook, “Freeing Yourself: A Guide for Letting Go of Other People’s Opinions”

SIGN UP on the website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/762561/109840834025752017/share⁠⁠⁠⁠ DISCLAIMER: The content in this podcast and video is not a replacement for therapy and is not clinical, medical, or mental health treatment. Dr. Natalie Marr is a Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. Her work with ⁠⁠(⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠⁠⁠)⁠, ⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠https://NatalieMarrCounseling.com⁠⁠⁠),⁠ and all affiliate social media entities is educational and coaching based ONLY. She IS NOT offering therapeutic services of any kind on these mediums. If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please use the following crisis resources (this is not an exhaustive list of available resources): National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org⁠/⁠⁠⁠⁠
CALL 988Crisis Text Line: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.crisistextline.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠
⁠⁠⁠Text HOME to 741741

Dr. Natalie Podcast, Selfish is the New Selfless

Hot Flashes, Cool Calm: A Midlife Woman’s Guide to Self-Care and Sanity

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Podcast 14

In this episode of “Hot Flashes, Cool Calm,” I’m diving into the world of self-care for midlife women. I know that the years between 40 and 60 can be challenging, with all kinds of physical and emotional changes taking place. But fear not! I’ve got some expert tips and hilarious anecdotes to help you navigate this exciting, yet sometimes overwhelming, time of life.

First up, I’ll be talking about the importance of self-care, and why it’s especially crucial for midlife women. I’ll share some of my wisdom for staying grounded and taking care of ourselves during this particularly tricky time in our lives. I assure you, we real midlife women can figure out this self-care thing and be living our best lives, despite the occasional hot flash or sleepless night. We can even use this self-care super power to learn how to reinvent ourselves, pursue new passions, and find joy and fulfillment in unexpected places.

So grab a cup of coffee, tea or wine, put on your comfiest sweatpants, and join me for a lively and entertaining discussion about self-care for midlife women. I promise you’ll leave feeling inspired and empowered to take on whatever challenges come your way!

Dr. Natalie is offering you a FREE 30 minute 1:1 coaching session to help your own personalized plan to Midlife Mastery. This is a FREE, no obligation evaluation and individualized plan, packed with suggestions for how to make midlife your best life.

 

Episode NOTES:

Depression in America Statistics

Always Make Time for Self Reward – a BLOG by Dr. Natalie Marr

Dr. Natalie Podcast

Helping Midlife Women Design the Life THEY Want to Live

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Dr. Natalie Podcast (2023) Episode 1

Dr. Natalie introduces us to the origins of her work with LearnToLoveYourStory.com. During this inaugural podcast she talks about her plan to use this podcast to help women in midlife step into their own power at this stage of life by designing the lives that THEY WANT to be living in, instead of living lives that were preordained for them and no longer serve them.

Episode Notes:

Adverse Childhood Experiences Study by the Center for Disease Control and Kaiser Permanente 

Why We Can’t Sleep: Women’s New Midlife Crisis is a 2020 non-fiction book by Ada Calhoun. It builds upon her essay for O, The Oprah Magazine, “The New Midlife Crisis for Women”. Calhoun interviewed more than 200 women and studied social trends to identify new roadblocks for Generation X women.

Khalfani-Cox, L. (2015), AARP, 5 Interesting Facts About Generation X, https://www.aarp.org/money/credit-loans-debt/info-2015/gen-x-interesting-finance-facts.html

Untamed. (2020) by. Glennon Doyle 

We Can Do Hard Things, Podcast, Produced by: Cadence 13; Hosts: Glennon Doyle, Amanda Doyle, Abby Wambach

Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle Paperback – March 26, 2019 by Emily Nagoski (Author), Amelia Nagoski (Author)

Delamater, E. and Livingston, G. (July 21, 2021) More than Statistics: How Covid-19 is Impacting Working Women, U.S. Department of Labor Blog

LaPerra, N. (2021) How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal From Your Past, and Create Your Self